Our Kingdoms
Now obviously as a Believer in Christ I am a part of the Kingdom of God. However, I think the world is full of different types of kingdoms. The most obvious being a home. When I was younger I wanted to grow up and be a mom and ...basically have my own kingdom married to my prince charming and raising our little princesses and princes and cooking and cleaning and making costumes and bandaging skinned knees and all the things mom's do in their kingdom. So somewhere between the princess movies and reality comes this idea that we can't have a kingdom without a prince.
Most girls I know have either done one of two things. 1) Waited around barely living for their prince to come 2) Decided to do whatever they wanted while they are single spend all kinds of money they didn't have or focus on a career and then settle down later. I fall somewhere between the two. I didn't know what kind of goals to set so I didn't set any really. But I didn't want to end up just waiting so I ventured out into the unknown. How do you live the fine line as a Christian between being happily single and growing in your faith and life and still desiring to someday get married and have a family?
I never thought of the truth being that of a sort God gives us all "kingdoms" of influence. I was on a missions trip in Taiwan for about a year and a half and I loved it. I had never felt so alive in my life or so at home with a people group. There were literally times I felt like I had been born into the wrong culture while I was there. When it was time for me to return home I almost did not get on the plane. But something inside me knew I needed to return. That God was calling me to write and somehow that was to happen here in the states.
This last year I have tried different avenues. I have taken time without work. I have written little things and started some stories and tried to figure out how to open a business and make a living at writing...all to no avail. It has been a year now that I have been home. And ultimately I feel more like a failure than any sort of success. My writing and career are not really going anywhere and I hurt one one of the men I love more deeply than I ever wanted to trying to follow after God and unable to make him understand. So greatness and epic success appear to be no where near my front door.
Reminded one morning of the pain of my friend and his belief in my failure to him coupled with my failure in the department of writing and my life I lay in bed depressed. Outside the sun was shining and life seemed grand but in my heart was heaviness and frustration with all my failures. I soon noticed that I had been mentioned in a friends status update on face book. She had copied and pasted and note I had written to a little friend of mine who is going through a rough patch and thanked me for my encouragement to her and her life on facebook. This is a girl I was best friends with in grade school. I spoke at her wedding, but since then our lives have gone in separate directions. I was shocked that my little smatterings had even mattered in anyone's life at all.
I went upstairs filled with hope that my life wasn't as meaningless as I had just been feeling and shared with mom what had happened. As I shared I just started to cry, overwhelmed with all that this season has been about. Mom hugged me and then she said, " You know Crystal, you may never be a great and published writer. Or write books that change the world and are read by millions. But in the kingdom that God has given you, the people He has set around you, you are an encouragement to them. They tell me all the time that they are encouraged by what you write. Even if all that God wants you to do is write facebook status updates, that is good. Be faithful to that. What matters is being faithful with what God has given you."
I started to think of all the different single women I knew, waiting for romantic marriage love to live. And it hit me, we do not know the little things that God has called us to do. Little things that we will daily do with out thinking that help shape a heart and love on and encourage a kingdom. We do not see the kingdom that God has set around us, and value it. I want to see what God has given me, and I want to love, value and care for those He has set within my sphere of the ability to love. So wherever you are at in life, married or single ask God to show you your kingdom and ask yourself if you are loving it well. And then follow the guiding of His Holy Spirit. Sometimes that means you will have to say and do things that appear harsh but are truly loving and sometimes it will mean sacrificing a little time to offer a little joy and cheer. But where ever we are in life, we have a kingdom that God has given us. Thankfully he is the King and by his grace I work as an ambassador because He is far wiser, loving and gracious than I am.
Most girls I know have either done one of two things. 1) Waited around barely living for their prince to come 2) Decided to do whatever they wanted while they are single spend all kinds of money they didn't have or focus on a career and then settle down later. I fall somewhere between the two. I didn't know what kind of goals to set so I didn't set any really. But I didn't want to end up just waiting so I ventured out into the unknown. How do you live the fine line as a Christian between being happily single and growing in your faith and life and still desiring to someday get married and have a family?
I never thought of the truth being that of a sort God gives us all "kingdoms" of influence. I was on a missions trip in Taiwan for about a year and a half and I loved it. I had never felt so alive in my life or so at home with a people group. There were literally times I felt like I had been born into the wrong culture while I was there. When it was time for me to return home I almost did not get on the plane. But something inside me knew I needed to return. That God was calling me to write and somehow that was to happen here in the states.
This last year I have tried different avenues. I have taken time without work. I have written little things and started some stories and tried to figure out how to open a business and make a living at writing...all to no avail. It has been a year now that I have been home. And ultimately I feel more like a failure than any sort of success. My writing and career are not really going anywhere and I hurt one one of the men I love more deeply than I ever wanted to trying to follow after God and unable to make him understand. So greatness and epic success appear to be no where near my front door.
Reminded one morning of the pain of my friend and his belief in my failure to him coupled with my failure in the department of writing and my life I lay in bed depressed. Outside the sun was shining and life seemed grand but in my heart was heaviness and frustration with all my failures. I soon noticed that I had been mentioned in a friends status update on face book. She had copied and pasted and note I had written to a little friend of mine who is going through a rough patch and thanked me for my encouragement to her and her life on facebook. This is a girl I was best friends with in grade school. I spoke at her wedding, but since then our lives have gone in separate directions. I was shocked that my little smatterings had even mattered in anyone's life at all.
I went upstairs filled with hope that my life wasn't as meaningless as I had just been feeling and shared with mom what had happened. As I shared I just started to cry, overwhelmed with all that this season has been about. Mom hugged me and then she said, " You know Crystal, you may never be a great and published writer. Or write books that change the world and are read by millions. But in the kingdom that God has given you, the people He has set around you, you are an encouragement to them. They tell me all the time that they are encouraged by what you write. Even if all that God wants you to do is write facebook status updates, that is good. Be faithful to that. What matters is being faithful with what God has given you."
I started to think of all the different single women I knew, waiting for romantic marriage love to live. And it hit me, we do not know the little things that God has called us to do. Little things that we will daily do with out thinking that help shape a heart and love on and encourage a kingdom. We do not see the kingdom that God has set around us, and value it. I want to see what God has given me, and I want to love, value and care for those He has set within my sphere of the ability to love. So wherever you are at in life, married or single ask God to show you your kingdom and ask yourself if you are loving it well. And then follow the guiding of His Holy Spirit. Sometimes that means you will have to say and do things that appear harsh but are truly loving and sometimes it will mean sacrificing a little time to offer a little joy and cheer. But where ever we are in life, we have a kingdom that God has given us. Thankfully he is the King and by his grace I work as an ambassador because He is far wiser, loving and gracious than I am.
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