Small town dating disasters

Like many women I know, I had a plan.  It started with college and ended with marriage by the end of college.  God had the same plan for m...y closest friends.  One weekend I was even in two weddings at once.  It was quite  crazy and depressing.  Instead of getting married and starting a family I found myself sitting behind a desk selling insurance and staring at the world happening outside my office window.   During that season I think I averaged 10 weddings a year.  I will never forget the night I found myself sitting on an abandoned country road sobbing into my steering wheel and begging God hoping that this would not be my whole life.  Suddenly the romance novels and movies with the cliche story line  of the bell above the office door ringing as the most handsome wonderful single man in the world walked in and sweptthe girl  behind the desk off on an adventure were my literal prayer.  Instead every hot guy who tramped through the office door did so ringing wedding bells and a desire to insure his soon to be skinny blonde wife's HUGE ring.

The one guy I did  go on a date with seemed nice at first. After date my friend laughingly told me that he happened to have just had his live in girlfriend get thrown in jail for stealing thousands of dollars from the local vet clinic and some sort of internet pornography that apparently involved another girl and the underside of a bar table...I never did want to know the details.  My first hint that he was not the man for me was the photo albums he proudly showed me of he and  his dad sitting on  Harleys with half naked girls at the Sturgis motorcycle Rally here in South Dakota. My next tip off that he maybe wasn't for me was the fact that he only owned movies with the actors from American Pie...nuff said.   I found out later that the day of our date he had bragged around town  that he had found a new lady to replace his jail girl.  Little did he know that the Sunday School  teacher he was making steak for was NOT planning on moving in with him or doing anything besides making awkward conversation in his Big wheel black truck.   On a high note, those steaks were delicious.

At church there were no singles groups and every sermon was geared to married folk and their children.  My job was to serve.  So that is what I did.  I enjoyed teaching the kids on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings and mentoring on my free days and running the sound board and being on every committee that knew I had free time and helping with all events creatively and man power wise.  My plan had been to spend time with my family but instead I was just working working working.  Because Single Christian = Slave labor.   Which is a horrible thing to say, and not at all how I felt at the time but  looking back I wish I would have chosen to play a little more.

On the other end of the spectrum my friends who were Christians but wanted to play...well lets just say they 'played' so hard some are still not recovered...Some sowed so many wild oats I think they became wild oats.  There really was no balance, no one to look up to or model life after Singleness  apparently meant go wild or hide in  anticipation marriage.  I felt like I  was on my own to navigate life and float until I met that perfect man so I could actually start living. I  soon discovered that Singles groups were actually 'meat' I mean meet markets.  Where you checked each other out and determined who would hook-up, under the guise of 'Bible Study'.

I did get to go on what I considered to be the first real date of my life with one guy from the group.  And it was an INCREDIBLE date.  He drove me (in a Chevy truck, which I LOVED) three hours to his favorite restaurant then went on a hike with me and a double date with my brother and best friend that evening.  Then we stopped in Custer State Park to take in the beauty of all the stars.  Then I freaked out and told him I wasn't ready for marriage and I didn't think we should go out again....BOOM effectively managed to destroy one awesome guy and any hope of future dates.  I also managed to  acquire the town title of 'man eater'... The only guy who remained  interested in me was the beefy guy who literally grunted and glared at the world like a cave man.  He only liked me cause I told him to be nice...He did manage to  trick me into a date.  I thought we were just going out as friends with a group, but it was just us. Later after I tried to set him up with one of my friends he became so thoroughly angry at me that stopped speaking to me for years.  A few motorcycle accidents later he forgot why he was angry at me... And that was the end of small town dating.

Don't get me wrong I did learn a lot and had a ton of fun but God was trying to teach me something besides marriage and I was fighting Him tooth and nail.  He was trying to teach me how to truly live with Joy and life regardless of marriage or life circumstances.  He wanted me to know who I am and who He is and He gave me a LOOOOOOOOooong long season  to patiently learn this lesson that I am just slowly starting to grasp.